The click. The ignition. The impact. The fall. Then the routine resurrection before they had time to understand what was happening. 

 

In their mind's eye they replayed the exchange between Amanda and Crow. They mentally marked each word, gesture, and facial expression that sent cold confusion down their spine and an ache for their friend who bore witness as well. Friend? Was that right? They used a lot of red in their markup. 

 

They had observed Amanda and Crow's interactions for months while Hawk was off planet, but found nothing remarkable. It had happened coincidentally out of curiosity. Clarity-5 regarded keeping tabs on Hawk as one of their highest priorities. They had decided long ago that given her interest in the relatively new light, Crow would also be one to keep an eye on.

 

Their observations regarding Crow and Amanda raised concerns within their previous logic. Long gazes. A smile when he thought no one was watching. A touch on the hand or arm, though not requited, was regularly tested. The tally of these anomalies rose with each passing week, growing to a peak just before Amanda took to the sky's and became MIA. Clarity estimated the tally would now only increase with her safe return.

 

Their eyes shifted over the hunter's hand, running a quick calculation on whether her grip would shatter the glass. Hawk raised her helmet's faceplate slightly, shot the bitter liquid down her throat and poured another glass. Clarity-5 didn't have the heart to disapprove.

 

“Have you spoken to HiM?” Static twitched in their vocal cords. 

 

The hunter drained the new glass in reply.

 

A low hum vibrated in their cords, cut short as the hunter's grip tightened. 

 

They observed her quietly, watching the tension build and then slowly release, her head sinking with her shoulders.

 

“I am sOrrY,”

 

She stopped sinking, and uncertainly set the glass down as she turned to face the exo. Her head tilted slightly, but the exo felt a change in the air as the hunter's brows furrowed behind her visor. They shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, but the hunter stayed silent and waited for an answer.

 

“I fEeL… iT,” they began, clicking and popping in their lines as they searched for the words. How to describe what they were unfamiliar with? How to describe this thing twisting in their chest. “TiGhT,” they pointed to their breastplate, “Pain, eMpTy, but worse than any physical wound. It fEeLs… wRoNg,” they sighed. “This whole thing is wrong,”

 

Soft, slow taps echoed between them as the hunter stared past her glass, her fingers slow dancing along its side. They stopped with a quiet thud that stretched into a long sigh. 

 

“Yeah,” was all she said.

 

* * *

 

The hunter had cornered him in a darkened passage of the tower, her tattered cloak making no sound as she descended. Colour drained from his face as one hand felt for the wall behind him, the other fumbling for a weapon. He had learned a lot in his new life as a guardian, but not enough.

 

But yet, she made no attempt to reach for a weapon. Glowing sky blue eyes pierced the shadows and bore holes into his. His breath escaped in fake relief, but his awkward chuckle trembled. “Hawk! Damn, you scared me there for a moment,”

 

Her eyes flicked down briefly before narrowing and returning to his. “Give me one good reason not to punch you right now,”

 

He swallowed, noting thankfully that he didn't see a weapon of sorrow equipped to her hip. He saw her usual weapon though, and realised that while Malfeasance wouldn't grant him a final death, it would hurt enough to make him wish for one. He shut his mouth and hung his head in shame.

 

Hawk exhaled sharply, glaring daggers at the wall beside her. She released another breath, her shoulders sagging.  “We're you even going to tell me?”

 

“Of course I was going to…”

 

“Before or after I found out for myself?” She snapped back at him.

 

He opened his mouth to fumble an answer, but she shook her head.

 

“How long?” She asked quietly, “How long have you been pursuing her like that?”

 

Crow grimaced, scratching his head, “I'm not sure- not long,” he added quickly as her eyes blazed at him. “We've been friends for a while. I'm not sure when I started…” he grit his teeth, feeling the ugliness of his words. His actions. “flirting, with her,”

 

Her words slid through gritted teeth, “...She called you a murderer,”

 

He shrugged, “She changed her mind,”

 

The silence stretched on for what felt like hours. A thousand questions flooded her mind, and a thousand more answers entered his. She couldn't bring herself to ask a single one. So she uttered a statement instead. So quiet. So devoid of hope.

 

“I thought you loved me,”

 

It sliced through him deeper than any knife. Right to the heart of it all. Was it all just some echo of his past life? Was it love that drew him to her, or Uldren. So many memories tangled in his mind. He wasn't so sure anymore.

 

“I thought I did too… But what if this is just Uldren?”

 

Her eyes wavered in pained confusion, twinkling like stars. He felt another stab in his chest.

 

“I don't know what's mine or his anymore. I need to find my own path, not unknowingly walk in his footsteps. And that means…” he swallowed painfully. “That means I can't be around you right now. I need time,” but even as the words tumbled out, he knew he had done worse than that. He cut himself off from her completely. Cast her aside. And was actively trying to fill that void with another. Another who had rejected his advances time and time again. He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched his nose. All that, and his heart still couldn't escape her orbit.

 

“You're not Uldren, Crow” she muttered quietly. “As I'm not her,”

 

He shook his head sadly, feeling his resolve waver with every word. The dagger in his chest twisted deeper. He couldn't stop himself from tearing his heart apart. “How do I know if these feelings are mine or his?”

 

Her fingers quivered at her neck, a crude chain delicately pulled loose. A charm glinting quietly in the darkness. A feather, shaped like a curved dagger. Polished smooth from years of wear close to her chest. “Because of this,”

 

His breath caught in his throat. How long ago had it been since he huddled in Spiders chambers, spending feverish days refining the small chunk of metal? A time before Uldren, or Riven, or even a name that yet felt like his. When he was just The Crow. And she was just Hawk. He clenched his jaw and looked away.

 

A moment passed, then another, draining what was left of his shaky resolve. At last, a shuddering breath escaped his lips, and he surrendered. 

 

“Hawk, I-”

 

But his words fell short, passing unheard through the empty space she had occupied just moments ago.

 

* * *

 

Crow placed his weight against the wall and slid down it. Guilt ate away at his insides like bubbling acid. “I deserve this,” he muttered to himself. Glint made no move to correct him.

 

“Did you rEaD Osiris’s report?”

 

He jumped, scrambling for his gun. “Shit! Clarity?... What?”

 

The exo's white eyes watched him with dull interest. “Osiris’s report on the events of Neomuna. Did you rEaD it?”

 

He dragged himself to his feet, his frown growing deeper. It was one thing for Hawk to creep up on him, but Clarity-5? The strangeness of it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. “No, I… what is this about-” The holopad hit his chest with a thud as he caught it.

 

“ReAd it,”

 

He knew Clarity-5 was becoming more and more impatient with him, but he couldn't keep the look of bewilderment off his face. “Clarity, why the hell are you giving me a report in the middle of the night in a darkened alleyway?”

 

“I'm returning a fAvOuR for a… fRiEnD” Static entered their voice as they decided on the word.

 

He closed his eyes and turned them down to the holopad. He should have known. “What will I find?” He asked quietly.

 

Clarity-5 paused, calculating how much to give him in response. The distortion curled in their vocal cords. Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't this.

 

“We would have wOn, if she had sHoT her gHoSt,”

​

Their white hot eyes bore into him coldly. Arc light crackled around their exoskeleton, leaving blinding echoes in his vision. Shielding his eyes, he took a step back, only to inhale sharply as the heel of his boot met the wall behind him. His fingers instinctively reached for the hilt of his gun, but he let them fall. His mouth was drawn into a thin line, but went slack. His eyes fell open, searching Clarity’s.

 

“Req?” He began, “She almost lost Requiem?-” but their words cut his short.

 

“When she nEeDeD yOu most…”

 

The arc light whipped around them, not aiming to harm him, but the smell of singed hair and the heat of their rage made him grimace. He almost wished they'd lash out at him. Anything, even their white hot light, would feel better than the twisting ache inside his gut.

 

“YoU.

 

bRoKe.

 

HeR.

 

HEART."